It was the worst Way a person could say goodbye after all you experienced. A "Sorry" instead of "I Love You". I was surprised I faced when I felt so torn up inside. Finally left the Department and let go of all my crying. I drop to my knees and then I lay down on the floor, Drowning In My Tears. It was pathetic. I'd never see him again.Senpai would be next to a woman, his wife, surrounded by their children and could Bet would be very happy. That thought was enough to make me More miserable. The images in my head of a happy family were a Torment. I spent hours Crying on the floor to sleep and in the morning I woke up but I just did not have the necessary Strength.I've never felt so weak or Breathing is an impossible task.
again ended with a Broken Heart. - What should I do now?
the time I was like water between hands and again after dark. Spend so much time on the Hard Floor had Hurt My Back a little and now I Don't Catch a Cold, although it was the last thing on my mind.I looked for a while on the roof of the apartment, a place that was too big for me
- first we ask for Change of my University, I can manage in hamatatsu
and then... My mind began to enlist in the direction that I should take my life. Turned My ideas into Action and after two days I went. Return after Packing everything,The income of the Department over a month and had this time to come back for my stuff. Not in a hurry to leave and spend time before returning.
the faculty in hamatatsu was not bad, I used but remained a Challenge. On this occasion, I took my Baser Instincts, do not want a New relationship, even a casual one night.I wasn't ready for that kind of contact with someone more depressed. I spent three weeks until I took Courage to return to Nagoya but I wanted to get out as soon as I got on the train. The journey was not easy to endure, but it was not impossible. When I got off and Breathed the air of the City felt nostalgia Feelings invaded me, and I didn't want to break down Halfway.I was impressed when I arrived and saw the entire Department Disorderly.
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senpai... Was here. I squeezed My Eyes and my frown with Melancholy ". There is no doubt, that was his Trademark, maybe I wanted to find out where I had gone but it was a pity because I was not willing to contact you. Could not create a False Hope, it had fallen from So High and began to get up,I didn't want to Fall Again. I started to Pack All my things and of him. I couldn't Control Myself And when I took one of his shirts I squeezed out like a Hug.
- T - still has the smell of her perfume.
I threw it in a Box and closed. It was not easy to let go of Memories and A Feeling so intense yet, remember, I had Butterflies In My stomach as the first time.I wanted to Silence the screams in my heart that I had to run to his arms, that was not possible.
"but here... It means you still care about you, cares about you
I couldn't fooled. What they wanted was a senpai friend and what I wanted was a lover. Stashed all their boxes with sadness, that had been reduced.I didn't see it because this time I was not sure I could confront him so I sent things by mail.
I be enthusiastic and thinking that my life would change for good but would not be so.
-. -. -. -. -. -. -. -. -. -
happened a year in which acted like a robot, that I betrayed my feelings and didn't do anything to get that down to my Department.Living with very little, my Companions and I became more Reserved. I didn't want anyone to hurt me back into my life. He was very careful in the talks and not talking about my person. That was in my private life, Private, NOW no one could enter it. Both women and men came with the intention to start a serious relationship but I rejected them all,Someone was in my heart very well Hidden.
"the feeling was always there... If only, if only you were not a man, I"
recreated a thousand times such words in my dreams, My Dreams. I had never felt so little being a man, had not been enough for the person she loved.
- He should be along a beautiful Bride...
My Heart shivered and closed My Eyes. Could not start because it was embedded in my heart Too Deep for him. A disease that invades me, spread my character and weakened increasingly.
I knew that it was better to be gone when I proposed.
then what we all Fell In Love with him, his body, his personality,Its Essence and Presence alone How could I continue My Life Loving this way too? I gave him My Heart, and never asked for his return, was his alone. Part of his heart would always be mine.
an idea not only stupid, but I was in my thoughts. "If Only You Weren't a man...
" I couldn't believe what little thing I felt.These months of loneliness and sadness were affecting my judgment. In my bed I debated for several Nights. I turned from one side to another, wondering if do something that Risky Worth really worth, if it would bring me Happiness. Some dreams I tormented by the possible future of coldness that decision. I watched with my body,Could Change Everything that I Am Who I Love?
senpai Change largely my fault... Was forced to do things that he disliked to stay at his side, at least until it was possible for countless Times.
I criticized for its unwillingness to me but I was doing the same for him? I pressed again and again, it was painful to meBut I've never had a real sacrifice to work.
-
I didn't change. Although know your dream... I can't do it.
that was an impediment to fight for him, for our love? Even the normal family could not have Offspring by a variety of reasons. Lie would be my worst Sins but living with him for long enough to create a Truth to achieve both.- I can't believe that after so many months we continue...
Dreams ceased to be a Torment and had a better Ending, maybe this could be my last. Fall In Love once more the eyes that Hypnotized me Honey would like to feel that cosquilleó in the stomach also intoxicated My Heart, a beautiful Illusion. Live Forever in that Summer Love seemed distant,Crazy, unattainable.
I'm within my rights to romance him as he fell in love with me
I declared a War Song with insecurity but full of Hope. The doubts and fears began to be a thing of the past and was willing to meet my new life. After months of Medical consultations and treatments. I had to be sure and receive appropriate treatment;To undertake this new Passage in my life was not easy. I kept my secret decision to my friends and coworkers. He Day of my resignation to the pharmaceutical all shocked, was unexpected for everyone and some even don't tell my problems so that they could help me. I planned it from weeks ago but I didn't want anyone or anything get in my way.I used my Savings consciousness and organised everything methodically taking into account any unforeseen problems that may arise.
by the time left, I worked as a waiter to keep busy, continue to receive income and pay bills without having to use the other money. I waited until my graduation of the Master, the next day would no longer be the same.
I would change for him, for us.Morinaga San - - Please, go to your room. The Nurse will be with you in a few minutes to give you the latest information prior to surgery.
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