Al principio evitaba todo tipo de p

Al principio evitaba todo tipo de pensamientos que refirieran a Morinaga, claro que lo extrañaba pero era solo porque alguna vez fue mi mejor amigo, no obstante ahora tenia a Hikari, más nada se sentía igual. Con él las cosas eran tan diferentes, a pesar de que no teníamos nada en común más que la afición por la carrera que estudiamos, nuestros gustos en los demás aspectos eran totalmente opuestos.

Con Hikari era igual, se parecía tanto a Morinaga, era simpática, amigable, bonita. Ahora que lo pienso me llegan más recuerdos sobre nosotros, muy a menudo nos íbamos a un bar a beber mientras ella sufría por el rompimiento, seguro el muy bastardo era un tipo infiel desde que lo conoció, de hecho recuerdo que me contó que sucedió en la fiesta de bienvenida a los alumnos de licenciatura, que organiza la universidad, a pesar de que él era de un grado superior asistió a la fiesta. Su cara…también pude ver su cara todas las veces que llegaba por ella al laboratorio, ese gusano la usaba cuando tenía ganas de sexo, casi no salían, solo cuando él lo quería así, pero llegaba con regalos y flores para mantenerla feliz. Cierto día Hikari fue de improviso a su salón de clases y lo vio muy acaramelado con otra chica, al reclamarle él se burló y le dijo que se acabó, que estaba enamorado. Como me hubiera gustado golpearlo, lástima que nunca me dijo donde lo podría encontrar, ella se enamoró realmente, por eso no quiso que lo lastimara. De eso ya paso bastante tiempo casi un año, a pesar de ello aún lo extraña, puesto que con mucha frecuencia pone una mirada muy triste, cuando preguntó que tiene muestra una sonrisa falsa, la misma que ponía Morinaga al sentir mis rechazos.

Mientras los minutos se volvían horas, las horas días y los días meses, en mi interior algo se estaba marchitando, cada día que pasaba me sentía más cansado, por alguna razón mi corazón estaba roto, la rutina era aburrida, había perdido las ganas de comer, no obstante debía hacerlo, simplemente porque en casa prácticamente me llevaban a la mesa o en la escuela todos iban a la cafetería, asimismo no quería que nadie se preocupara por mí, por esa sola razón me levantaba de la cama, pero cada vez era más difícil. Lo que disfrutaba era ir a dormir puesto que sólo ahí encontraba la paz en sueños que no recordaba, o que deseaba no recordar, tu dulce voz llegaba a mi corazón mientras mi mente torcida inventaba historias donde me obligabas a hacer tantas cosas. Las cosas absurdas que puedo soñar, todo por extrañarte ¿extrañarte yo? Creo… que sí…

Desafortunadamente Hikari Notaba mi desgano, cada día era más evidente, ya no salía con ella, me recluía en mi habitación con libros o permanecía lo más posible en el laboratorio, con tal de llegar a dormir sin tener que pensar. Tu ausencia me estaba matando, no lo entiendo, ahora tengo lo que quería, eres libre de mí y yo de ti, tengo una linda novia a la que quizá un día descubra que amo. ¿Amor? Esa cosa no existe, es una invención de la naturaleza para preservar la especie, por eso siempre he dicho que los homosexuales van en contra de la naturaleza. Tantas veces decías que me amabas, nunca creí en la veracidad de tus palabras, como diablos podría, tu eres un hombre y yo también, pero ahora siento que me gustaría escucharte una vez más. ¿Qué demonios ocurre conmigo? ¿Por qué siento tanto la distancia entre nosotros? Ese vacío, esa maldita pérdida me está consumiendo desde el interior, ese ardor, ese dolor y sufrimiento que me quema desde adentro hasta la piel, porque tiene que ser así, yo jamás quise conocerte pero ahora que de ninguna forma ocurrió, preferiría no recordarlo, sigo sin comprender cómo tu recuerdo viene a torturarme, si tú no sabes ni quien soy.

Todos estos pensamientos que llegaban a mi cabeza, cada día que pasaba se hacían más fuertes. Llego el día en que mi alimentación fue tan poca que no quise pararme de la cama, a pesar de que mi hermana y mi tía se preguntaban que ocurría conmigo, ni yo mismo tenía idea, insistían en saber, pero yo no contestaba. Estaba solo, quería estar solo, para evitar esos pensamientos intentaba leer, pero a pesar de que intentaba distraerme con un libro, había tenido un sueño recurrente esos últimos días, donde tú me reclamabas de la razón por la cual te abandone si yo te pedí quedarte a mi lado, luego me decías: "ya ni te recuerdo", "jamás te amé". Esas palabras daban vueltas en mi cabeza tantas veces que era doloroso, parecía como si algo estuviera sangrando en mi interior. Justo en ese instante se acercó Hikari, la había llamado mi hermanita que se moría de angustia por mí.

-Sou-kun que ocurre contigo, pareciera que perdiste las ganas de vivir, no lo entiendo. Desde hace un par de meses te comportas extraño, cada vez que intente saber que te ocurría me alejabas, ahora toda tu familia no sabe qué hacer contigo. Voy a ser franca contigo, incluso están pensando en recluirte en un hospital para valorarte, de modo que puedan saber si tu problema es una deficiencia química de endorfinas, serotonina u otras hormonas, ya sabes, me refiero a las que se encargan de mantenernos cuerdos y "felices". Antes de eso yo les pedí hablar contigo, confía en mí, sé que puedo ayudarte-

-Ayudarme…maldición… eres tan tonta… nadie puede ayudarme. Es culpa mía, creo que yo me equivoque, pero no hay nada que pueda hacer para corregir mi error-

-¿Sou-kun? ¿De qué hablas? No logro entender nada de lo que dices, explícame por favor te prometo encontrar una solución-

-Que no lo entiendes, no tiene solución, no está en la lógica, puede que ni fuera real, no sé si esto es real, o lo anterior lo fue. Solo sé que cada jodido día que pasa lo extraño más, desesperadamente anhelo jamás haber deseado eso, solo fue en un arranque de ira que lo dije, es que él no lo entendía, estaba ocupado y no me dejaba terminar mi trabajo, pero no quería que se fuera, o que desapareciera como lo hizo, me arrepiento…. aaaahh (llanto)-

-Haber explícame desde el principio, ¿de quién hablamos? ¿El murió acaso? Porque si no ha muerto podemos buscarlo, no importa donde se esconda te aseguro lo encontraremos. No te cierres a tus ideas, siempre es posible encontrar una solución. Respecto de la realidad, solo te puedo decir lo que es aquello que percibimos y vivimos, no te preocupes por cosas que no puedes observar, me escuchas, me ves e incluso te puedo tocar, por tanto soy real, por lo menos en este momento-

Escuchaba sus palabras entre mis lamentos, a través de sus cálidos brazos que estaban alrededor de mi espalda, encontraba algo de razón en sus argumentos, el no murió simplemente no lo conocí, por tanto podía encontrarlo, pero si mis recuerdos con él eran invención mía y todo lo imagine en algún delirio. Demonios… no puedo más con esto.

-…Hikari- Le dije, separándome de su abrazo. –Si te digo esto debes tener la mente abierta, te sonará muy raro lo que te voy a contar pero aun así debes creerme, creo que solo tú puedes ayudarme a entender. Promete que no pensarás que estoy loco-

-Claro, te lo prometo, tú jamás me has mentido, ni mucho menos decir locuras, esto que te angustia puedo ver que es absolutamente real-

-Hace… creo….mmmm… seis años debía haber conocido a un hombre llamado Morinaga Tetsuhiro, el cual me salvó de ser violado por el profesor asistente Miyoshi. De este modo se ganó mi confianza y un tiempo después se volvió mi kohai en vez de ti, poco a poco se convirtió en mi único amigo al igual que tú, conforme paso el tiempo él se enamoró de mí, ya que era gay, al pasar varios años me lo confesó.

-Espera un minuto, si él te salvo del profesor asistente Miyoshi y dices que no lo conociste, entonces ¿quién te salvo de ese tipo que no tengo idea de quién sea?-

Al intentar recordar ese hecho llego, como todas las cosas nuevas que recordaba, en una especie de dolor de cabeza con un zumbido, así de pronto formaba parte de mis recuerdos, entonces respondí:

-Lo que paso es que tuve suerte y lo golpe en los bajos, liberándome de su agarre, así que lo pude patear mientras estaba en el suelo escapando, tome unas pinzas, las enterré en su espalda cuando trato de huir, luego amenace con matarlo así que simplemente se fue de la universidad-

-No tenía idea. Bueno ¿Quién era ese muchacho lo conozco? ¿Qué pasó después? ¿No entiendo bien cómo dices que debías conocerlo?-

-Maldición Hikari, déjame hablar es algo confuso incluso para mí- Le dije algo molesto por las interrupciones.

-Como te decía, este hombre que se volvió mi amigo se llamaba Morinaga Tetsuhiro, yo confiaba en ese idiota tanto que me quedaba en su apartamento a beber, resulta que un día, por culpa de él, me bebí un afrodisiaco que tenía escondido al fondo de un mueble, es que tardaba mucho en traer las bebidas, entonces el miserable se aprovechó de mí, me chantajeo con dejar la escuela si no seguíamos teniendo este tipo de relación extraña entre amistad y algo más-

Kết quả (Anh) 1:

At first avoided all kinds of thoughts that refer to Morinaga, clear that I missed it but it was just because it was once my best friend, but now had to Hikari, anything felt equal. With him things were so different, despite the fact that we didn't have nothing in common rather than the fans by the race that we studied, our tastes in other respects were totally opposed.With Hikari was equal, it looked so much like Morinaga, she was nice, friendly, Nice. Now that think I get more memories about us, very often we went to a bar to drink while she suffered by the break, secure the very bastard was an infidel since he met him, made souvenir that told me what happened at the Welcome Party the students of Bachelor, organized by the University, while he was a top grade attended the Festival. Your face... also could see his face every time that he came by her laboratory, this worm used it when he wanted sex, hardly went out, only when he wanted it as well, but came with gifts and flowers to keep you happy. One day Hikari was suddenly to her classroom and saw him very sweet with another girl, the claim he scoffed and told him that it's over, that he was in love with. As I would have liked hit him, pity that never told me where could find you it, she really fell in love, so he didn't hurt it. That enough time almost a year, yet still strange already step, since very often put a very sad look, when he asked you must sample a false smile, the same putting Morinaga to feel my rejections.While the minutes became hours, the hours, days and days months, inside me something I was withering, every day passing I felt more tired, for some reason my heart was broken, the routine was tedious, I had lost the desire to eat, however you should do it, simply because at home I practically wore to the table or at the school all went to the cafeteria Likewise did not want that nobody cared for me, for that reason alone I woke up from the bed, but each time was more difficult. It was enjoyed to go to sleep since he only there was peace in dreams could not remember, or that he wanted to forget, your sweet voice came to my heart as my twisted mind invented stories where I obligabas to do so many things. The absurd things that I can dream, all for miss you would miss me? I think... Yes...Hikari-unfortunately I noticed my reluctance, each day was more evident, already not going out with her, I held in my room with books or remained as much as possible in the laboratory, in order to get to sleep without having to think. Your absence was killing me, do not understand it, now I have what I wanted, you are free to me and I you, have a cute girlfriend who may one day discover that I love. Love? That thing does not exist, is an invention of nature to preserve the species, so always have said that homosexuals are going against nature. So many times you said that you loved me, I never believed in the truth of your words, like Devils could, your you're a man and I also, but I now feel that I'd like to hear from you again. What the hell it happens with me? Why do I so feel the distance between us? That void, that damn loss me being consumed inside, that ardor, that pain and suffering that I burn from the inside until the skin, because it has to be, I never wanted to meet you but now that was the case in any way, I would prefer not to remember it, I still do not understand how your memory comes to torture me, if you don't know or who I am.All these thoughts that came to my head, every day passing became stronger. I arrive the day that my diet was so little that I didn't stop me from the bed, while my sister and my aunt wondered that you happened with me, nor I myself had the idea, they insisted to know, but I was not answering. I was alone, I wanted to be alone, to avoid those thoughts tried to read, but while I was trying to distract myself with a book, he had a recurring dream these past few days, where you reclamabas me the reason why you leave if I asked you to stay by my side, then you said: "not remember", "never I loved you". Those words gave turns in my head so many times that it was painful, it seemed as if something was bleeding in my heart. Just at that moment approached Hikari, had called it my sister dying of anguish for me.-Sou-kun that occurs to you, seems that you've lost the will to live, I don't understand it. Since a couple of months ago you behave strangely, whenever you try to know that you happened to me alejabas, now your family does not know what to do with you. I'll be frank with you, they are even thinking in seclusion in a hospital to nurture yourself, so that they can know if your problem is a chemical deficiency of endorphins, serotonin and other hormones, as you know, I mean those that are responsible for keep us sane and "happy". Before that I asked them to talk to you, trust me, I know that I can help you--Help me... curse... you are so silly... nobody can help me. It is my fault, I think I I'm wrong, but there is nothing that can be done to correct my error--Do Sou-kun? Of which you speak? Can not understand anything of what you say, tell me please I promise to find a solution --That you don't understand it, no solution, it is not in the logic, maybe it was not real, I don't know if this is real, or that it was. I just know that every fucking day that passes I miss him more, desperately longing ever have wished that, just was in a fit of anger I said, is that he did not understand it, was busy, and he wouldn't let me finish my job, but I didn't want to leave, or disappear as you did, I regret... aaaahh (crying) --Having explain from the beginning, are who talking? He died just in case? Because if not dead we can find it, no matter where you hide I assure you we will find it. Not you shut your ideas, it is always possible to find a solution. With regard to the reality, I can only say what is that which we perceive and we live, not worry about things that you can not see, I hear, I see and even you can touch, therefore I am real, at least at this time-I listened to his words between my cries, through its warm arms that were around my back, it was a point in his arguments, not just died I not met him, so I could find it, but if my memories with him were my invention and all imagine it in a delirium. Demons can... not anymore with this.-… Hikari - told her, separating me from her embrace. -If you say this you must have an open mind, you will sound very rare that'll tell but still you must believe me, I think that only you can help me to understand. It promises that you will not think me crazy--Of course, I promise you, you never lied me, much less say madness, what anguish you can see that it is quite real--Hace... think... mmmm... six years should have known a man called Morinaga Tetsuhiro, which saved me from being raped by teacher assistant Miyoshi. Thus earned my trust and later became my kohai instead of you, little by little it became my only friend as you, as I spend the time he fell in love with me, since it was gay, to spend several years confessed it me.-Wait a minute, if you except the Assistant Professor Miyoshi and say that you didn't know it, then would who you except such that I have no idea who is?-Trying to remember this fact came, like all new things she remembered, in a kind of headache with a buzz, so suddenly it was part of my memories, I then replied:-What step is that I was lucky and hit on the ground, freeing me from his grip, so I could kick him while he was on the floor escaping, take a pair of tweezers, buried them on his back when I try to flee, then threatens to kill him so it was just of the University --I had no idea. Well who was that kid you know? What happened then? Not understand how you say that you should meet him?--Curse Hikari, let me speak is something confusing even for me - I said annoyances by interruptions.- As I said, the man who became my friend was Morinaga Tetsuhiro, I was confident that both idiot that I stayed in his apartment to drink, it is that one day, because of him, I drank me an aphrodisiac that had hidden at the bottom of a piece of furniture, it is that it took much to bring drinks, then the miserable took advantage of me I chantajeo me to leave school if not we still have such a strange relationship between friendship and something more-

Kết quả (Anh) 2:

At first he avoided all kinds of thoughts that refirieran to Morinaga, of course I missed but it was only because it was once my best friend, yet now had to Hikari, nothing else felt the same. With him things were so different, even though we had nothing in common but the fans for the race we studied, our tastes in other aspects were totally opposite. With Hikari was the same, so resembled Morinaga was nice , friendly, nice. Now that I think I get more memories for us, very often we went to a bar to drink while she suffered from the break, sure the bastard was an infidel type since she met him actually remember who told me that happened in Shower undergraduate students, organized by the university, although he was at a higher grade attended the party. His face ... also could see her face every time she came by the lab, the worm used when he wanted sex, hardly went out, just when he wanted it that way, but arrived with gifts and flowers to keep her happy. One day Hikari was suddenly to her classroom and saw him very caramel with another girl, he mocked the reclaim and said it's over, I was in love. As I wanted to hit him, too bad he never told me where I could find, she really fell in love, so I did not want to hurt him. That already happened some time about a year, although it still strange, since very often gets a very sad look, when asked who has shown a fake smile, the same that put Morinaga to feel my rejections. While hours became minutes, hours and days months, something inside me was fading every day that passed I felt more tired, for some reason my heart was broken, the routine was boring, had lost the desire to eat, however had to, simply because at home almost took me to the table or going to school every cafe also did not want anyone to worry about me, for that reason alone I got out of bed, but it was increasingly difficult. What we enjoyed was going to sleep because there was peace only in a dream not remember, or did not want to remember, your sweet voice came to my heart as my twisted mind made ​​up stories where I obligabas to do so many things. The absurd things I can dream, everything I miss you miss you? I think ... yes ... Unfortunately Hikari noticed my reluctance, it was increasingly apparent, no longer go out with her, seclude myself in my room with books or remained as much as possible in the laboratory, so to get to sleep without thinking. Your absence was killing me, do not understand, now I have what I wanted, you are free of me and I of you, I have a beautiful girlfriend who may one day discover that I love. Love? That thing does not exist, it is an invention of nature to preserve the species, so I've always said that homosexuals go against nature. So many times you said you loved me, I never believed in the truth of your words, how the hell could, you are a man and I, but now I feel like I would hear again. What the hell is going with me? Why do I feel so much distance between us? That emptiness, that damn loss is consuming me from inside, that ardor, that pain and suffering which burns me inside and skin, because it must be so, but I never wanted to know now that in no way happened rather not remember I still can not understand how your memory comes to torture, if you do not know who I am. All these thoughts that came to my head, each passing day became stronger. The day came when my food was so little I did not want to stand on the bed, even though my sister and my aunt wondered what happened to me, nor I had any idea, insisted on knowing, but I did not answer. He was alone, I wanted to be alone, to avoid those thoughts tried to read, but despite trying to distract me with a book, he had a recurring dream these last days, wherever you demanded payment me the reason why you leave if I asked you You stay with me, then say to me: "I do not even remember you", "I never loved you." Those words were spinning in my head so many times it was painful, it seemed like something was bleeding inside. Just then Hikari approached, had called my sister who was dying of anguish for me. -Sou-kun happens to you, it seems you lost the will to live, do not understand. For a couple of months ago you behave strange, whenever you try to tell me you stepped happening now all your family does not know what to do with. I'll be frank with you, are even thinking recluirte in a hospital for nurture, so that they can know if your problem is a chemical deficiency of endorphins, serotonin and other hormones, you know, I mean those in charge of keeping sane and "happy." Before that I asked to talk to you, trust me, I know I can ayudarte- -Ayudarme ... damn ... you're so stupid ... no one can help me. It's my fault, I think I'm wrong, but there's nothing I can do to correct my mistake -¿Sou-kun? What are you talking about? I can not understand anything you say, tell me please I promise to find a solution- That do not understand, no solution, not on logic, may not be real, I do not know if this is real or above it was. I just know that every fucking day that passes I miss him more desperately longing never have wished that, just was in a fit of anger he said, is that he did not understand it was busy and would not let me finish my work, but did not want to leave, or to disappear as he did, I repent .... aaaahh (crying) - Haber explain from the beginning, from whom we speak? He does perhaps died? Because if it is not dead we can get it, no matter where you hide I assure you we will find it. Do not close your ideas, you can always find a solution. From reality, only I can tell you what is what we perceive and live and not worry about things you can not see, hear me, see me and you I can even play, so I'm real, at least at this time - listened to his words in my laments, through its warm arms were around my back, found some truth in their arguments, not just the dead did not know him, so he could find it, but if it were my memories with invention Imagine me and everything in a delirium. Hell ... I can not take this anymore. - Hikari ... I said, pulling away from his embrace. If I tell you that you should keep an open mind, you will sound very strange what I'll tell you but still you believe, I believe only you can help me understand. Promise you will not think I'm loco Sure, I promise you, you've never lied to me, much less say crazy things, this trouble you can see that is absolutely really ... think ... .mmmm ago-six years should have ... met a man named Tetsuhiro Morinaga, which saved me from being violated by assistant professor Miyoshi. Thus he earned my trust and a time after my kohai became instead of you, gradually became my only friend like you, as time went on he fell in love with me because he was gay, the several years I confessed. Wait a minute, if he will Miyoshi safe from assistant professor and say that did not know him, then who will save you from such I have no idea who he is - When you try to remember that fact came like all new things I remembered, in a kind of headache with buzzing and suddenly part of my memories, so I said, 'I happened I am that I got lucky and beat on low, releasing her grip, so I could kick while on the ground to escape, take tweezers, buried them on his back when he tried to flee, and then threatens to kill simply left the university I had no idea. Well, who I was that guy I know? What happened then? Do not quite understand how you say you had to know -? . Damn Hikari, let me talk is somewhat confusing even for me, I said somewhat annoyed by interruptions As you said, this man became my friend called Morinaga Tetsuhiro I confident that idiot while I was in his apartment to drink it one day, because of him, I drank an aphrodisiac that was hidden in the back of a cabinet, it took a long time to bring the drinks, then the wretch He took advantage of me, blackmailed me to leave school if we still had this kind of strange relationship between friendship and something else

Kết quả (Anh) 3:

At First, he avoided all kinds of thoughts that go to Morinaga, I missed him but it was only because once was my best friend, but now had to Hikari, nothing was the same. With him things were so different, although we had nothing in common but the penchant for the race that we study.Our tastes in other respects were complete opposites.

with Hikari was equal to Morinaga, it seemed, was friendly, nice. Now I think I have more Memories about us, and very often we go to a bar to drink while she was suffering from the Breakup, sure the Bastard was a cheating since I met you,In fact I remember that he told me what happened at the welcome party for Undergraduate Students, organized by the University, although he was a Top Grade attended the party. His face I could see his face all the time came for her to the Lab, the Worm used it when I WAS wanting Sex, almost did not leave, only when he wanted it that way,But arrived with gifts and flowers to keep her happy. Hikari was suddenly one day to their classroom and saw him with another girl Very Sweet, chiding him laughed and said it was over, I was in Love. As I would like it, Too Bad You Never Told me where I could find him, she is really in Love, so do not want to hurt him.That I spend enough time almost a year, although it still Misses, since very often gets a look very sad, when asked which shows a False Smile, the same as Morinaga to feel my rejections.

as the minutes become hours, days and days, months, hours in my home, something was fading,Each passing day I felt more tired, for some reason, my heart was broken, The routine was boring, had lost the desire to eat, but to do, simply because at Home almost LED me to the table and everyone at school went to the cafeteria, also do not want anyone to worry about me, for that reason alone, I get out of bed,But it was becoming increasingly difficult. What I was going to sleep because there was Peace only in a Dream not to remember or not remember, your sweet voice came into my heart as my mind Twisted up Stories where you made me do so many things. The Absurd things that I Can Dream, Miss You Miss You All for me? I think... Yes...

Unfortunately, Hikari sensed my reluctance, it was increasingly Clear, no longer go out with her, I held in my room with books or remained as much as possible in the laboratory, so getting to sleep without having to think. Your absence was killing me, I Don't understand, now I have what I wanted, you're free to me, and I in you, I have a beautiful girlfriend that maybe one day discover that I Love.